{LOVE Series} Kicking Off With An Unexpected Revelation

{It's February! In honor of that, we are focusing solely on love. To any Valentine's day loathers, don't worry. It's not all romantic love. It's not all upbeat. Sure, we'll discuss marriage. I might share how my husband and I started dating. Hint: it involves a house fire. But there is so much more to love than romance. It's how we choose to greet and live each day. It's how we choose to see things. I promise to have something lovely for everyone. Also? We just might have a guest blogger or two. Woohoo!}

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Kicking off this series has been a struggle. I didn't understand why because my list of (positive) topics is solid and long. When it became clear I was struggling, I focused harder on praying and asking that God speak through me. Do you know what happened when God spoke through me? He led me to a totally unexpected revelation. One that knocked me back and immediately identified the current focus of my spiritual journey.

My stream of consciousness was brutally honest as I closed my eyes and typed. When I read it back, I was shocked to see the words "unworthy of love." I feel unworthy of love. I actively resist it. What in the world?! I'm happily married with two children and have made it a point to grow into a spiritual path of love. At first I couldn't believe it. Then...then way too many things fell into place. Things are continuing to fall into place.

No wonder I was struggling to write what I wanted to write. This story had been playing itself over and over again somewhere deep within me. Because I told myself that story for so long, I have example after example of being shown that I really wasn't worthy.

As easy as love is for me, it is also incredibly difficult. Through my smattering of abusive relationships (a pattern I promise will be put to good use in the future), I'm damaged. I am damaged in love. Aren't we all? Just a little bit? Romantic love. Family love. Friendship love. All of them. When there is a human element, love cannot be perfect. God's love is the only perfect one.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." 1 John 4:16

We are bruised and scarred. Some of us are healed. Others...not so much. We put up walls that we don't even recognize exist. Yet we keep trying. Isn't that beautiful? Love. We don't always get it right. We fight for it. Cling to it. We don't hold it tightly enough. We watch it slip away. We seek it from the wrong sources. We also enjoy love. We give it. We receive it. If we choose to look for it, we see love everywhere.

Too often we forget that love is an inside job. Somewhere along the way I forgot that love is an inside job. This LOVE series I'm so excited to bring you? I thought it was all for you but, apparently, it is for me, too. We have some unpacking to do.

Let's see where this journey takes us.