I preach positivity, grace, self-acceptance, self-worth, and all the other things most coaches teach. Mindset is a very powerful thing. Right now our newsfeeds are filled with advice about planning/anticipating a beautiful 2018, embracing our blessings, and getting started on 2018 NOW. I agree with all of this. This is all important. I’ve done it.
But what do you do if 2017 sucked? If it was a kick in the teeth and every time you tried to stand up, it kicked you some more? What if you tried your hardest to be positive but by now it’s all you can do not to cry? What do you do if you’re looking back at the carnage feeling little else than pain, defeat, and loneliness?
Let’s be real here. Life isn’t always sunshine and roses. If your year was brutal, being told to look on the bright side and essentially ignore the bad is enough to make you want to throat punch someone. Being shoved off, ignored by friends, or treated like you have leprosy because you can't figure out how to pull out of your struggle/mindset makes it worse.
First, don’t hurt anyone. It’s a gift that so many cannot relate to your journey. Would you really want them to experience all you experienced? Or perhaps they have experienced hell-ish times in the past and are far enough on the other side now to not be bothered by much.
1.) Write or yell it out. Write out everything you’re feeling. Acknowledge it. Face it. Confront it. Let yourself be angry. Cry. It is a step up from feeling powerless and abandoned. Every step forward is an important part of healing.
2.) Once you are cried out, take a breath. Or 20. Feel the now vacant space from the released emotion. Now you have room to start seeing things another way. You have space to see more than the pain.
3.) Count the blessings. What were the silver linings? What lessons did you learn? What fears did you face and survive? Give yourself credit for all your wonderfulness.
4.) Decide what you can do to have a better 2018. Is it working out as an outlet and to take better control of your health? Is it finding a therapist or hiring a coach? Perhaps it’s confronting or severing a toxic relationship.
5.) Make a statement. Set an intention and determine what you are or are not available for starting now. In 2018, I am unavailable for unnecessary suffering and am only available for exceptional results. Period. This is my new guidance system.
For those of you who are not basking in the glow of a wonderful 2017, it’s okay. You’re okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Know that you are worthy. You are loved. You are an exceptional human being who deserves a beautiful life. I’m pulling out of a brutal 2017, too. Thank goodness for my own coach who is helping me reshape my mindset around it all and leave the stories behind. All of us need someone to help us see the forest for the trees sometimes.
Don’t let this define you. Know that you can choose to step out of the struggle. You are loved and supported. Let your experiences give you the greatest comeback story foundation ever.